The FUNNY HOROSCOPE that reveals the light (or dark) side of your personality.
Mostly hideously hilarious! Occasionally downright daft!

Amuse yourself and make fun of your friends with the Libra Hilaroscope (23rd September – 22nd October).

Character, love, money, future and much more ridiculously revealed.

WARNING: May induce heart attacks or fits in those who take themselves too seriously.

Character

Libras are friends of the Planet and enemies of practically anyone of any importance. They are usually very artistic people, which explains why they often have such great difficulty making themselves understood.

Libras long deep down to be united with nature and many come literally within inches of achieving their dream. They are prone to a dangerous combination of conviction and failure to recognise imminent mortal danger. Because of this, environmental groups always make sure to include at least one non-Libran among their protestors to snatch away the rest before a bulldozer makes them all one with the forest they are trying to protect.

Libra s are very peaceful and try to avoid confrontation at all costs. Pick an argument with a Libra and you’ll probably be given a rose the next day – in a pot, of course.

If you ask a Libra who his best buddy is, the most probable reply is going to be a tree, a scruffy one-eyed dog, or a goldfish named Elton.

Libras may seem to be all goodie goodie, but the other side of the coin is a rusty one indeed. They will let you down when you least expect it, and are bound to desert you when you need them most. Ask a Libra to help you move house and you can be sure that they will have to spend the weekend with Grandma who was suddenly taken ill’. Strange coincidence! Especially since you clearly remember attending the very same Grandma’s funeral the year before.

Nothing could be worse than a disloyal friend. But critical and judgemental do come pretty close, and a Libra is all of that! Your lover, your house, your new clothes, even your mum’s pet poodle’s haircut! Libras always have an opinion to voice, and voicing it is what they enjoy most in life. The trouble is that they are so indecisive that you’ll go crazy if you ever try to live up to their expectations.

Love

As far as Libras are concerned, love is all you need. If it’s free love, so much the better! While Libras are perfectly capable of falling in love with just about anything that’s living or natural, their ideal partner is, of course, another Libra. Who else would ever put up with a 12-weekend Save-The-Tadpoles campaign?

Money

Money is of little importance to a Libra. This is because you cannot buy any love with money – not true love anyway. Libras tend to use up most of their money purchasing little bits of rainforest to give as presents. This practice becomes very irritating after a couple of birthdays, and probably even beats disloyalty as the main reason why Libras have very few friends.

Future

The sad truth is that the Earth’s natural spaces are gradually being destroyed. This is particularly bad news for Libras, who are increasingly finding themselves out of a job with precious little left to protect. In fact it is expected that by the year 2030, around 80% of Libras will be on the dole.

This is likely to result in a surge in all aspects of art: especially film and music as Libras look to divert their energies elsewhere. The upside is cheaper cinema tickets for all, as supply outstrips demand. The downside: higher taxes.

Libras should beware of anyone reading ‘The Catcher in the Rye ‘. They’re probably out to kill you.

Famous Libras

John Lennon, Mahatma Ghandi, Bob Geldof, Brigitte Bardot

Ideal jobs

Libras will make excellent plant psychologists, waste recycling engineers, movie critics or nudist beach lifeguards.

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This Hilaroscope is Courtesy of Andrew De Gabriele of Write On Copywriting Services
Visit www.write-on.net for more information.