The FUNNY HOROSCOPE that reveals the light (or dark) side of your personality.
Mostly hideously hilarious! Occasionally downright daft!
Amuse yourself and make fun of your friends with the Gemini Hilaroscope (21st May – 21st June).
Character, love, money, future and much more ridiculously revealed.
WARNING: May induce heart attacks or fits in those who take themselves too seriously.
Character
Avoid Gemini at all costs if you’re in a hurry. They are very talkative and can chat about the weather for hours on end without even having to stop to go to the bathroom. Gemini make excellent company at a party, provided you’re quite drunk and not looking for meaningful conversation. The biggest problem is getting them to shut up and go home at 6 a.m., when it’s time for work. This can be usually achieved by a hefty punch in the nose.
Gemini are incredibly curious. Once they get a mental itch, they just can’t help scratching it sore. A Gemini is just the type of person you could expect to ask a girl what colour her underwear is – or if she’s wearing any – only 5 minutes into a conversation. Gemini generally come across as impertinent idiots… because that’s just what they are. Another thing they are is slapped across the face incredibly often.
Gemini are expressive people who have enormous difficulty hiding their thoughts. This is not to be confused with honesty, but is actually caused by a total lack of voluntary facial muscle control. Gemini cannot avoid making a horrible face if they don’t like your hair, your shoes or your cooking. They are rarely invited to dinner a second time.
Discipline and order are what Gemini hate most. They are as topsy-turvy as a flea market after a whirlwind. This may not be apparent right away, and you can only appreciate the full extent of the mess that Gemini love by visiting their house. Prepare for the shock of your life! Keeping in mind that there was no Police tape blocking the door and that it’s not a crime scene you’re visiting may help you hold on to your sanity.
Love
Gemini are narcissistic and love nothing more than themselves. They are also very vain and often arrive incredibly late for a date. Beware of their usual excuse that they ran out of Fiber Creme pomade at the last moment.
The secret of a rewarding relationship with a Gemini is to keep them away from mirrors – and all reflecting objects (including toilet bowl water). Gemini can be very passionate and thoroughly enjoy pleasing their lovers… once they actually notice them that is.
Money
Gemini spend most of their money on the sort of beauty products that cost a couple of weeks’ wages. Still, they know how to make what little they have left go a long way. Gemini are the sort of people who scour the jumble sales looking for second-hand GameBoy cartridges whenever they have to buy a gift. They also think duct tape and string are a cheap, but viable alternative to AA breakdown cover.
Luckily for them, they have not been proven wrong.
Future
Gemini lead pretty boring, mundane lives.
However, it is in every Gemini’s destiny to one day discover something that will change their life forever. It could be a terrible family secret, a hidden talent, or simply the convenience of frozen pizza. The good news is that Gemini are well adapted to change. No matter what comes along, they will learn to live with it, make the best of it, or even pop it into the microwave on Low Mix/Bake for about 15 minutes.
Famous Gemini
Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Salman Rushdie
Ideal jobs
Gemini would make good comedians, private investigators and hairdressers.
—————————————————
This Hilaroscope is Courtesy of Andrew De Gabriele of Write On Copywriting Services
Visit www.write-on.net for more information.
